I'm toxic. I love you but maybe it is better for you to leave me?

Never doubted my love for you. What worries me is that I love you so much that I'm becoming a toxic to you. 

I love you so much, I wish you could always be on my side and ONLY my side. I hate your friend. I do not hate that species for no reason. I thought you knew. I expected you to stand by my side because I love you so much I thought you would understand how I feel. I understand how you feel too. I know it is a difficult position for you but I'm a toxic, I can't accept you standing in the middle and not on ONLY my side. I hate to see you still talking to that species especially when you initiated it. I hate to see that species talking to you, wishing that that species will freaking get lost and leave you alone because you are mine. That's how much I love you and how toxic my thoughts can be. You do not deserve to have such crazy gf. Ugly truth: Yes, I wish you can cut and end ties with that species. That's how crazy I am and I hate to admit that. I will completely understand if you cant accept such thoughts and leave me. 

I was absolutely glad to have a chance to be a part of your gathering with your coursemates. I really want to leave a good impression to them and I want them to like me so much. I could have done better but I guess I did not bad for the first time. I wanted to switch things around. Hoping you could see that your gf is socialable too and not just good at making enemies with people that you know. I really hope you could change the way you look at me. i love you so much that I really care how you think of me and i know so far you had not been seeing the good in me. it is obvious especially during the time i said i love you with tears. you doubted me. to you, whatever i say or do happens because of something negative in me. all you see is negativity in me. my positivity do not matter anymore because the negativity in me is what you can only see and care for. if i have a 80% positivity in me, you would only see 6% of it. evrything else overshadows my good and this is where i feel underappreciated and worthless.

I love you so much that I want to feel wanted. I want to be missed, I want to be in ur mind all the time, I want to be the person you choose over anything or anyone else, I want you to make me feel worthy, secure and special. I do not want divided love and care from you. I do not want to share anything about you with anyone else other than your family. I want to be the significant one. I'm selfish. I want you to please me by having matters the way I wish them to. 

I'm toxic. I'm selfish. I'm sorry. I love you.