Karma is a bitch.

So is life. And maybe me too.

Engraving thoughts assuring myself that everything will be great and fine.

Lies. All self reassuring lies.

The effects have worn off. Or I simply have to accept the truth now.

It’s not gonna be great. It’s not gonna be fine.

It’s like I’m being haunted or something.

But there’s only myself to be blamed.

What happens now? Future?

How I wish I could find out first hand and be fortified to grasp the nettle.

Friends assuring me that everything will be fine.

Helped a little at that particular moment.

However, the feeling of unsure and insecure start seeping in the next moment.

Yes, maybe I’m just paranoid but I believe it is for a good reason which apparently only acknowledged by me.

I wish I could do something.

But I’m not sure what I could do anymore or maybe there’s nothing I could do after all.

It’s like I’m awaiting some kinda catastrophe in an utter helpless state.

I admit that guilt is the main reason I’m feeling so perturbed about all this shit happening and about to happen.

This is why I can’t go all hunky dory to the university as if nothing ever happened.

It’s eating me up on the inside.